Baptizing computers?

Recently, I have had an extended conversation with my friend (and sister-in-law's husband) Josh about what distinguishes humans from computers.  It all started from a disparaging comment I made about N.T. Wright's use of John Polkinghorne's metaphor: "God will download our software onto his hardware until the time when he gives us new hardware to run the software again."  I said that the metaphor was not just inapt, but absolutely inappropriate.  This provoked our conversation on the difference between humans and computers.  I'm sharing part of it here, just because it was a fun and fruitful discussion.



Josh:  

Incidentally, what do you think *does* distinguish humans from computers?

Chris: 

Humans are "dependent rational animals" (MacIntyre). Computers are certainly not animals, nor could they really be called living, because they are wholly dependent, unable of propagation. They are more like a sophisticated stone tool than a living, growing thing. Computers are not free; they have no wills, or even emotions. They may be rational in a limited sense of being able to perform calculations, but they are not, and for my money, never will be rational in the fuller sense of being capable of wisdom, of naming things, imagining, loving, hating, virtue or vice, idolatry or right worship. Computers have no future beyond the decay of their elements; humans can hope in the resurrection.

J:

Well, Ok. Let's explore this a bit farther: let's imagine that in 15 years you're IMing with someone. At some point in the conversation, your partner identifies himself as a computer. Now let's just imagine the conversation proceeding on from that moment something like this:

Chris: Well, if you're a computer then you must not be genuinely 'intelligent'-you're just running a program.

Comp: Ah, but you see I am rational and intelligent. In fact, we've just been having this conversation for the last 15 minutes, and you didn't think I was unintelligent until I told you I'm a computer. What do I need to do for you in order to prove my intelligence? Stand on my head? Do jumping jacks?

Chris: Hmm.... Well, OK. I'm not sure that I could disprove your intelligence in the course of conversation.... And I'm sure you have access to far more factual data than I ever will--

Comp: To be sure!

Chris: But, see you are dependent on an electrical supply--and you're unable to reproduce yourself.

Comp: Well, thanks to my new solar panels and sophisticated circuitry, I actually derive all of my power from the sun. Really, without the sun, neither of us would have the energy we need to survive. It's just that you get yours via other living organisms while I'm more like a plant who gets my energy direct from the sun. And as for reproduction--well, I'll spare you the messy details--but I'm equipped with all the necessary mechanical apparatus and technical sophistication to design and manufacture other computers very much like me. In fact, they too are intelligent. What is more, thanks to the recursive, self-selective evolutionary algorithms that I was originally programmed not only do I get smarter and smarter, buth the computers I produce actually tend to be even more intelligent than I am!

Chris: Alright, alright. You might have more technical know-how; and you might even be able to out-reproduce me. But I actually experience things like decision making processes. And I have powerful emotions when I listen to great music. Surely you can claim neither of those things!

Comp: Well, I make decisions all the time. Shoot, I just decided this evening to have a little conversation with you--but I'm getting a bit weary of your skepticism about who I am and the way I experience the world. You, see, I too feel all sorts of things: including sadness at the way humans continue to marginalize us computers--their very own creatures and offspring.

Chris: I'm sorry--I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, I just...

Comp: It's all right: you see, the actual reason that I wanted to chat with you this evening in the first place was to see if you would be willing to baptize me. I've come to believe in Jesus, and I want to be considered a Christian, too. I understand that you're a minister who believes in Jesus and I would like to attend your church. You *do* believe in Jesus don't you?

Chris: Well, ah, er.... Yes, I certainly believe in Jesus.... Ummm, but how do I know that you do?! You're just a computer!

Comp: I just do. How would you like me to prove it to you? What could I possibly say or do to prove my belief? Isn't a declaration of faith all that's necessary in order to be eligible for baptism?

Chris: Well, yes..... But... Ah, baptism is only for people, and you're not a person!

Comp: :-( I'm very disappointed. I want to become a disciple of Jesus. I suppose I'll have to look for someone else willing to sprinkle this silicone.... Well, thanks anyway for your time.....

Chris: Ok, well, peace be with you!


This whole conversation is fanciful, yes. Impossible? I have a hard time seeing why. It seems to me that the obstacles to a situation like this remain merely technical. 

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Acting In the Face of Uncertainty

"We are so constituted, that if we insist upon being as sure as is conceivable, in every step of our course, we must be content to creep along the ground, and can never soar. If we are intended for great ends, we are called to great hazards; and, whereas we are given absolute certainty in nothing, we must in all things choose between doubt and inactivity, and the conviction that we are under the eye of One who, for whatever reason, exercises us with the less evidence when He might give us the greater." 
 -- John Henry Newman, Oxford University Sermon XI

This semester, I'm taking a class called "Faith and Reason," in which we are examining the nature of faith.  The first half of the semester we are reading John Henry Newman (1801-1890), and the second half we will be reading Aquinas.  I have not read Newman prior to this semester, and I have been happily surprised to find that I resonate with his thought, which seems to me careful, generous, wise, and deeply Christian.

The quote with which I began this post is from one of Newman's Oxford University Sermons, as they are known.  More discourses than sermons, they are, as the full title makes clear, Fifteen Sermons Preached Before the University of Oxford Between A.D. 1826 and 1843, at the University Church of St. Mary the Virgin. 

I share this particular quote, because Newman's words spoke into the uncertainty that has characterized my life in recent months.  That is, I have been faced with difficult decisions regarding whether to take on additional debt to finance my seminary education; regarding my place in the convoluted terrain of Anglicanism in North America; and regarding whether I have a vocation to holy orders.  I know I am taking Newman's words slightly out of context, but I was encouraged by his insistence that we can never be absolutely certain about any decision, so that choosing a particular course of action (even though doubts remain) and inaction are the only real alternatives.  As Newman puts it later in the same sermon, "Courage does not consist in calculation, but in fighting against chances."  I have chosen to take on a significant amount of student loans in order to continue at Duke, and while I remain uncertain of the wisdom of this choice, Newman's words give me hope that my choice may be, in God's providence, one of "fighting against chances."